Ups and Downs

A few years ago, I told Gary "Small churches stay small". He took this as an insult, a challenge, a slam....and it truly wasn't meant to be. Small churches are great! They serve a segment of the people that couldn't be satisfied in a mega-church. Fellowship is sweeter, prayers are extra-vital, songs are heartfelt, and problems are more gripping. It does make one wonder, though, WHY would satan be interested in a small church when he could go after more trouble in a large one? I guess he likes to see the tempers flare.

I'm very shy and it has taken me awhile to feel comfortable speaking at Cedar Mount. I had let someone intimidate me before and today I could kick myself. Not that I can "speak" publicly, but I can open my mouth without trembling.

Christmas Time's A-Comin"

It's that time of year again when the air smells cold and you hate to go shopping but you love to go shopping. Grocery bills are more expensive because of all the cream cheese and sugar and cans of blueberries. The stores even have a special display of all the high-calorie cooking foods to "remind" you of what to get.

In this crazy era of political correctness, to us it's still Christmas Day, Christmas tree, Christmas songs, Christmas lights, not substituting the word holiday. Sometimes we care so much about not offending minorities of any creed or race, we lost sight of what something really is.

Christmas is Jesus' birthday, pure and simple. I suppose the Magi bearing gifts can be said to have started the gift-giving part, but Santa Claus stuck himself in there somewhere and took over.

I'm sitting here with my hamstring hurting and a kitchen full of pounds just waiting for me to put them together. Oh Lord I feel like I fail sometimes in remembrance of what You stand for. Help me not get caught up in anything except sharing and love this season. Saturday night the church folk come and I'm looking forward to this. Guess that may call for a Lortab 7.5 that night but I love 'em!

Church

It's amazing how church is thriving right now. We keep growing....and somehow inactive members are coming out of the woodwork and trickling back in. The texture of the congregation has changed, and that in itself is part of the reason they give for coming home.

We prayed for kids for so long. Now I wonder where these kids are coming from? And they're showing up Sunday night and Wednesday night, not just Sunday morning. There's such a sweet spirit when you enter the front door. You can feel the love.

The music program is so good now. One, no two, guys who we'd never in a million years expected to be singers, sound like professionals. Not only does each one sing on key, but they work with our superb pianist well.

We're a small church and we had set a goal for 40 in Sunday school. So when we reached that goal, the pastor and deacons had to sing a song. The next goal is 50 in Sunday school, then the preacher's wife and deacons' wives will have to do the same. Oh mercy, I will do this for Jesus, but not because I think I sound good!

And we're wearing the gazebo baptistry out! Still have two more waiting. I need to pinch myself but mostly I praise God.

Life goeth on

I'm only 6 months into retirement....can't be, it seems like I've been away from hospitals 2 years. And do I miss it? When I accompany Gary to visit someone, I feel a nauseated feeling as I pass the nurses' station, see an infusion pump in the hall, see a latex-allergy cart outside a patient's room, or hear the nurses evade questions that would be Hippa violations. I wish I never had to see the inside of a hospital again. But church members appreciate a visit from the preacher and he doesn't like to go without me. Figure that one out.

Church? I love church and I love Jesus. Control of things within the church means nothing to me. I'll do anything for anybody within my scope. Does everyone feel that way? NOT. It's amazing what power, or lack thereof, can do to a person. And it's unbelievable how vindictive someone can be when they lose that power. It can change a friend to.....an enemy(?) for want of a better word.

Five to Go

I've worked 40 years, minus the 2 years I was off after the accident and now I'm finally winding down. Five more shifts before my license expires.
My knee joints are worn down, my back is a wreck, my feet are ruined, so was it worth it?
I've been thinking about that a lot.

Without working this long, there's no telling what my marraige would have been like. I think Gary would have left me if I'd quit. I probably wouldn't have my second child. But then if he chose not to leave, his life would have been different and he may have done some things differently too. We'll never really know the answer to that.

For sure, I'd never have seen Cozumel, Alaska, Hawaii, Branson, San Francisco, Les Miserables, Grand Canyon, Pike's Peak, or even Gatlinburg. I always hope I won't develop Alzheimer's just so I won't forget my kids or these experiences.

Of course, without working I'd be a lot thinner since we couldn't afford food!

But most of all, what I wouldn't have done, was to come in personal contact with so many patients who turned out to be a very diverse lot. High class, low class, high profile, hayseeds, junkies, educated, mentally challenged, politicians, Christian, athiests, housewives, such a diversity in occupations I could never put in print (one husband of a patient even made his living selling glass to go in airplanes---and when I made the comment he must not do much business, he quickly gave me a lecture on what a competitive field this is). I don't know any other occupation I would have had the opportunity to sit down and converse with such a variety of people. (Oh sure, telephone operators and bank tellers meet all these same people but they're not sitting talking to them from 2 to 8 hours while waiting on a birth to occur).

Maybe it was worth it.

Dear Jesus please don't let me get Alzheimer's.

All Time High; All Time Low

I'm beating myself up, but I deserve it.
I'm killing myself, without intentional suicide.
I'm eating more now but enjoying it less.
I'm hurting more.
I'm 61.
This is bad.
Who cares?

The Time is Now

Sigh!

George Jones happened.
Hawaii happened.

Now it's back to real life. Summer is over. Panic is dead, peacefully buried in the pet cemetery down by the creek. Haley is cheering. Amanda's in nursing school. And my feet hurt so bad I'm ready to take a cruise to Cozumel to buy drugs.

Church is doing good. Sh-h-h, don't tell the guy downstairs.
Yep, Hawaii was good.