My Sister Ta

My sister Ta is one of the funniest kids alive.

If you don't know her you should. She wins the Versatility Award when it comes to life. She loves the Lord, she reads about polar bears, she cooks with no germs because she loves her husband, she makes dressing at Thanksgiving, and she's always on the lookout for a good tallywhacker joke. She has the world's best job...at least when looked at by somebody else...and she even bore a Woo.

But these things do not make someone a funny kid. Once she stabbed me with a fork but it was a kid's fork out of a tea set. She taught me to put my arms around my mother's pregnant belly to love her, mother would be still, then she'd mash Junior and run before the slap came.

Once, before my 2nd hip replacement when I was hurting and the doc wouldn't give me anything for pain, she gave me some Lortabs which I will never forget. Another time we were on the phone and the lines got crossed with somebody else. They stopped their conversation to listen to us and I told her someone was hearing us. She said, "Well if they are, here's something for them: F**K " and she yelled it real loud. It was a crack-up moment because that's not even one of her words!

She got the looks in our family. She's the thin one. She's the groomed one. She wears good clothes and remembers birthdays and anniversaries.

And I would truly die for this funny kid Ta.